Nice duds

Tornado warnings, hail the size of some sporting equipment and a scaredy-cat beagle sent Robert and I home from our well-blended Fourth of July bbq at the Conners. And because life is one big circus of concentric circles, Robert wasn't the only one surrounded by alumni. Because Syracuse Jen now works where I worked, the orange people are now mixing it up with WBJ alum. And yup, fruits and nuts do make a good party mix
But we left when it got soggy and the local news crews started first uttering what could have been the best line of any Fourth of July drinking game: "looks like Mother Nature may be setting off her own fireworks ..." (c'mon, you'd be one lit fuse had you lifted that patriotic (or ironic and idiotic?) Sam Adams each time a red-blazered or navy blue wind-breakered tv talker said it). But of course, that Mother is much more of wiseass than a pyrotechnician and now it's sunny, sunny, sunny. And I'm at home in my jammy pants way too early, like a kid who got in trouble for riding her bike to the convenient store, crossing a busy street in her quest for Lik-m-aid.
But the night is not totally free of silliness. I just played my own version of fun with headlines. I take the top headlines from CNN or Yahoo or whatever and then match the subjects of one line with the predicates of the other. Today was especially good, no duds in the bunch. But i do play fast and loose with the rules, so no Betty Buzzkills allowed.


Here they are, from CNN's "Viewed Most Emailed Top Searches"
Orgasm clip spices up EU meeting
Bill Clinton blasts Bush
5 die in dairy farm manure pit
New hot dog eating champ for 4th
Missing lake swallowed up by crack

Here's the remix

Orgasm clip blasts Bush (he never knew what hit him, Cheney denies he was target practicing)

Bill Clinton spices up EU meeting (old news, baby)
New hot dog in dairy farm manure pit
Eating champ swallowed up by crack (only fair)
Crack spices up EU meeting (works everytime)

Yea! Freedom of speech.